Drinks with Jeffrey

Male friendships are tricky things, regardless of where you are in life. But they are also incredibly valuable and fulfilling when they are healthy and supportive. Maybe there was something in the way that Jeffrey and I acknowledged one another in passing through the halls of Hell and Purgatory. I mean, he’s a Void Demon, and I’m a mortal-turned-interplanar-courier, so we both have our challenges, but I think it goes beyond that. There is a kind of kinship there. And we all need more friends, right?

I decided that the next time we crossed paths, I would extend the invitation. After work drinks at the Laza Lounge, a place my friend Penny recommended. She works at the intake area affectionately known as the Hellp Desk. So clever. The Lounge is known for catering to all beings of all preferences. I happened to know that Jeffrey was partial to noxious fumes and suffering, and I have access to a wide variety of beers and bourbons. So really, something for everyone. Plus, they have snacks.

Initially, Jeffrey seemed surprised when I invited him.

Mortal John. Your invitation is both unexpected and dangerously considerate. I will accept. This might be an opportunity for enlightenment.

So the next day, after my final run of the day, I headed down to the Lounge to meet Jeffrey.

Mortal John. He greeted me, awkwardly extending his clawed hand. I understand this is the appropriate gesture for human greetings. I shook his hand and grinned.

“I appreciate the effort, Jeff. Wait, can I call you Jeff? I know some folks don’t like their names shortened.”

He cocked his head, burning eyes regarding me. Jeff. An abbreviated version of my full name. A… ‘nick-name’, if you will. I will allow it.

We took our seats at the bar, and an old satyr leaned in. “What can I get you boys?”

“Bourbon,” I said. “Something legendary.” He nodded and turned to Jeffrey.

“And for you, big fella? I’ve got some new tears on hand. My source says they are from some entitled incel in the mortal realm.”

Fae Barkeep. This will be acceptable. He turned to me. Mortal John. Query: What is the purpose behind this invitation for refreshment?

I shrugged. “I dunno. Figured we could hang out. Relax.”

Relax. Interesting concept that mortals appear to appreciate. Query: How does one ‘relax’?

I laughed. “So, I guess it is different for everyone. For instance, I relax by… not working. I watch some sports from the mortal realm while eating takeout from one of my favorite places in Tir na nOg. Or, coming to a place like this with a friend and talking about life and stuff.”

Jeffrey didn’t answer immediately. The satyr brought our drinks, and I held my own to the Void Demon. “Skål.” He raised what I assumed was an eyebrow and then mirrored my movement with his glass. He uttered something dark and rumbling that made my soul vibrate.

I caught my breath. “What was that?!”

Mortal John. You performed a ritual I recognize as a ‘cheers’ that is common in humans and other mortals. I responded in kind. In my own tongue.

“Wow! That’s some toast. I wasn’t sure if Void Demons had a word for ‘cheers’.”

We do not. It was the closest approximation I could render.

“So what does it translate to?”

A very rough translation to your English would be: ‘May your enemies forget your scent and your regrets dissolve like screaming moons.’

“I’ll take it.” We tapped glasses, and I drank deeply. Jeffrey slowly breathed in his glass, and the liquid evaporated and disappeared into his face. He made a soft noise that sounded like a pleasurable sigh. I waved to the satyr for another round.

Mortal John. Query: what is your function?

“My function? You mean like my job? I’m an interplanary courier. I take goods - documents, objects, whatever - from one plane of existence to another for various departments and organizations.”

Why?

“Why? Well, when I died, when my mortal body died, that is, I was given a choice. Let’s just say this was the more appealing option.”

Does it bring you… fulfilment?

I shrugged. “I mean, I get to travel. See all kinds of new and interesting places. Meet strange and often terrifying beings.”

And then you… relax.

“When I can, yeah. How about you? What is your ‘function’?”

I simply am. He gave what appeared to be a shrug. I observe. I assist. I… exist.

“And does it bring you fulfillment?” I asked with a grin.

He fixed his ember eyes on me. I could not tell if he was smiling or not.

Unsure. This has not been an aspect I have explored. Perhaps I shall.

Two more drinks arrived, and I tried to mimic his Void toast and failed miserably, laughing at my own foolishness.

Skål. He inclined his head and raised his glass to me. That was a terrible attempt, but the effort was noticed and appreciated. We toasted again.

“Tell me about the Void, Jeff. What is it like? It’s the one place I don’t get to go.”

The Void is… The Void, he replied, as though that explained everything. I let it go.

“Do you have friends?” I asked carefully.

He paused again, once again locking those coal-burning eyes to mine. I believe I do.